This month’s Omer theme, community, makes me think about the many Jewish values that make up our notion of community. In order to have a functioning and productive community, we need to embrace and practice the values (middot) of “cleaving to friends” (dibuk chaverim), “slow to anger” (erech apayim), “hospitality” (hachnasat orchim), “minimizing small talk” (miyut sichah), “supporting and healing” (somaych noflim v’rofay cholim), and “peace in the family” (shalom bayit), to name a few. We are fortunate here at TBA to have adults that spend time together studying these middot together, and in our religious school, Bet Sefer Avraham, we spend time in class talking over what these values mean and what we are “supposed to do” in a variety of situations. Conversations like these are easy to have in a classroom setting because every student relates to the time when he/she was a “victim” to behavior that was unkind by people who were not practicing these middot. And so, we continue to bring up these issues, feeling that one of our many goals in religious school is to emphasize these values and stress their importance. Students may be able to articulate these values and explain them. But what impact does teaching them really have? Do our children leave their Bet Sefer classrooms and practice what they have endorsed? The concern is not particular to Jewish religious school students. But if simply teaching about middot doesn’t result in “virtuous” behavior, how then can we be successful in instilling a commitment to a value driven life to our children? Certainly one way is by modeling such behavior in our homes. As parents we often feel as though our children miss these valuable lessons. Yet, invisible to our eyes, our children are sponges in absorbing what we do, how we act, what we say and how we say it. It may take many years for these kinds of lessons to show fruit in our children, but they do have an impact. Our children do not just absorb proper conduct from parents – we are not their only role models. Like me, you probably often cringe when reading about yet another “fallen” hero in the paper – someone else who acted badly or inappropriately, someone whom your child has looked up to. What do we do with this information that we and our children are bombarded with? One way of dealing with it is to talk about it over the dinner table. Bring up the story and ask your child what she/he thinks about it. Children may start off by telling you the “party line” – what they are supposed to say. But further probing can bring out many honest statements about what they really think. Don’t be afraid to bring up Jewish values with your children. Talk about the ideas of helping the sick, reducing gossip and hurtful speech, giving others the benefit of the doubt. Many children have never thought about both sides of an issues – never realized that there might be more perspectives than their own. Both role modeling values and having frank discussions with our children can only benefit them. As we continue to build our TBA and Bet Sefer communities, it is vitally important that we continue to strive toward practice of these middot.