Heatherly Hane

Special Education Teacher

Trumbull Public Schools

 

 

Effective Discipline

 

In order to be an effective disciplinarian, you need to establish reciprocal respect.  You respect the child and the child respects you.

 

Respect

*Listen to each child and acknowledge them

     -get down to their eye level and maintain eye contact

     -‘Active Listening’= restate and repeat what they say

     -put their feelings into words, example: “I see that you are sad”

 

*Be consistent

     -set basic rules (children can help create the rules= ownership/

       more meaningful), redirect child to rules frequently, stay

       neutral, example: the rules say…, then ask the child to repeat    

       verbally, constantly review rules

     -If one child sees that you bend the rules for another child then

       they will see that you are not consistent and therefore not

       trustworthy

     -Children crave fairness, structure, routine and boundaries,

       example: we feel better when there is a fence at the edge of the

       cliff = helps us feel that our environment is safe and secure

 

*Follow through

    -If you give a consequence, make it reasonable= something

      that you are willing and able to do, example:  ‘If you get up    

      one more time during snack, that tells me that you are all done’

      (be prepared to get up and help the child clean up snack

      promptly if the child gets up again)

    -Use 1,2,3 Magic to let the child know you MEAN business

 

*Praise, praise, praise!

     -Praise with words (stickers, tasty goodies may be needed at

      first and then can eventually be weaned to just words)

     -Use positive praise constantly using the specific action,

       example: ‘Great cleaning up the puzzle all by yourself!’

       (instead of ‘Good boy’)

 

*Set up the environment for success

     -Make the environment safe, secure and inviting whether it be

      your house, classroom or car!

     -Clear out clutter and anything you do not want your child 

      getting into.  Put them up and away!  This will decrease your  

      stress levels and curb your child’s tendency to touch it!

     -Have plenty of materials if your child will be sharing with 

      others.  Sharing is one of the hardest skills for a child to 

      master, help them as much as possible by allowing extra

      materials to be on hand.  If you do not have a plentiful supply,

      use a timer as a concrete way to help your child share the item

      with others!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Key Points:

·        You have an immense effect on each child, you may actually be the one person that truly believes that child is worthwhile.  It is your rapport and positive relationship with each child that will earn their respect, get them to ultimately obey and comply with your directives.

·        Each child is capable for appropriate behavior = maintain high expectations.  Think to yourself- ‘Is there a lack of skills?’- Do I need to teach this child what is expected?, ‘Is there an unmet need?’- Did the child have a poor lunch or not enough sleep the night before?, ‘Is there a lack of fit?’- Does the child’s personality, temperament, learning style or life experience clash?  If so find out when/ where and then adapt the environment.

·        You need a variety of tools in your toolbox = ‘You can’t just fix a house with a hammer’.  Use various means to teach the child= verbal reminder (repeated direction), gestural prompt (finger to mouth to signal ‘shhh’), physical proximity (stand near the child), physical prompt (hand over hand) 

·        Use positive directives= ‘Walking feet’ or ‘You need to walk’ instead of ‘No running’

·        Remember that you are the role model.  Children learn by your example, as the adult, you set the tone for the environment.  There is NEVER a need for sarcasm, name calling, screaming or yelling.  These actions only show the child that it is YOU that has lost the control.  Firmness in your voice is all that is necessary when correcting behavior effectively.  Be mindful of what you say to adults (never talk ‘over the childrens heads’) and also of how you treat the adults in your environment as well= children pick up on the tiniest of innuendos…

·        Reinforce positive behaviors by ignoring negative behaviors, example: if a child is fidgety at a table compliment peers on how well they are sitting (‘catch them being good’).  Notice how quickly the fidgety child will be sitting still to get your praise!

·        Redirect a wild activity to a calmer one, example:  running around the room= play with playdough

·        Give children jobs= this helps them feel important, holds them accountable for their place in the room and will also keep them busy in an productive way, example: line leader, caboose, room hunter, messenger or bird feeder

·        Coaches eyes= passion, confidence and focus.  Without these traits, the child will see weakness in you

·        Forced choice= you ultimately have the upper hand, for example: play center choices- child has to choose one out of three that are ‘open’, all other centers are ‘closed’

·        Time out= use the rule of one minute plus the age of the child, it is not effective to go beyond that time limit. Use a timer so it is a visual cue when the time out is over.  Alternative: time out the toy the two children are fighting over

·        Mix up sitting activities with movement activities so that they have a positive outlet for their stored energy!  For example: stretch to the sky, touch your toes, twist, jump up and down, clap hands

·        Give warnings before favored activities are to be done.  Use a timer.

·       To teach sharing/ taking turns in a concrete way, intervene and ask if they can share on their own or if they need help.  If they need help, ask if one can let the other have a turn, if one child refuses, use a timer and when the timer rings it is the other child’s turn.  Notice that after a few days the children will either ask for the timer or actually give the other child a turn BEFORE the timer rings!