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How many times have you asked your first
grade child:
Parent: "How was your day?"
Child: "Fine"
Parent: "What did you do today?"
Child: "Nothing"
If this is all you get from your student
every afternoon the following tips may be helpful as you talk with your child
about their day!
1) Ask specific questions.
Asking questions that only
require a one-word answer will often lead to one word answers. Encourage your
child to give you more by asking situation-specific questions, such as:
* "What did you do in math
today?"
* "Who did you play with on
the playground?"
* "Tell me the best story
your teacher read today."
2)
Start a "names I know" list.
Have your child start a
list at the beginning of the school year called "Names I Know" or "My Class."
Keep their list in a prominent place the family frequents often. Ask specific
questions about the kids on the list. Young children can have trouble keeping
track of names, and your child might want to talk to you about someone whose
name they can't remember. Keeping an on-going list serves as a memory jogger
for your child and a conversation starter for you.
3)
Give your child time to unwind.
Think about your own
after-work needs. Just like you, kids need time to decompress after a long day
at school. Try not to jump right in with questions about school the moment
your kids are dismissed. Give your child time to get home, unwind, and sit
with a snack. You might even want to wait until dinner; that just might be the
amount of transition time they need.
4)
Hone your child's conversation skills.
Helping your child
practice the art of conversation will serve them well. Show them that a good
conversation begins with eye contact, appropriate body language, and a warm
greeting. Conversations are give and take; listening is just as important as
sharing!
5)
Share some of your day.
By sharing how your day
went, you're modeling for your child the kind of information that you'd like
to hear from them: "This is what I did today that I felt really good about;
This is what I did today that was a little bit hard, but I did it anyway."
These statements naturally lead to questions that you can ask your child:
"What was one thing that you did today that was hard (or fun) for you?"
6)
Play a conversation game.
Children at this age
have rich imaginations and love stories. Try turning school conversations into
stories. Begin by saying, "Today, I went to school and sat down right next to
_________." Let your child fill in the blank. "First, we opened up our
backpacks and I took out my folder and looked inside and saw ______________."
Continue until you get to the end of the day, or until you're satisfied that
you've heard more than your child would normally volunteer.
7)
Get the facts straight.
From time to time you'll
hear information that may concern you about your child's day at school. Don't
ponder the details -- ask the teacher! It could be that you and your child's
teacher is using different terminology, and your child is confused by your
questions. On the other hand, if your child complains about being teased or
picked on, repeats a complaint with regularity, or complains of frequent trips
to the nurse, there may be a problem; Asking the teacher is the best way to
find out.
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