September 11, 2001
It has been nearly 10 years since the world changed that fateful day.
I remember being at the high school then. Because the high school's
renovation was delayed, school had yet to start for its students that year.
Because the cable was not connected, we watched the shocking events unfold on
the only television available- a small black and white set.
Before leaving that day I compiled a comprehensive packet of information and
sent copies of this to staff in every school building in the district so
teachers and counselors would have resources to help students cope with this
disaster.
Although today it is likely that students who can recall seeing the events of
that actual day are limited to the high school, students of all ages know
about and are affected by what happened September 11, 2001.
Sadly children born since then cannot recall a time our country was not at
war, or worried about terrorists, had no Department of Homeland Security and
when boarding a plane was a simple process.
The trauma inflicted by the events of September 11, 2001 left a profound scar
on the culture and continues to impact our sense of personal safety.
The suggestions below are for students and parents from
the National Association of School Psychologists.
10 years after this tragic event they continue to be relevant for everyone as
we acknowledge this sad day and its consequences - which continue to shape
our world.
Tips for Students
The anniversary of the attack of September 11th, 2001 is likely to remain an
important time.
What happened that year was frightening, even if you weren’t near the
attacks or didn’t know someone who was lost or injured. Coping with our
reactions to a tragedy like this can take time. Over the past ensuing
years, Americans have come closer together to grieve, comfort each other,
improve our safety, and strengthen our values.
These kinds of activities are important and have likely helped many of us
feel better. Sometimes though, the anniversary of a tragedy can bring back
the feelings we had when it occurred. Many people will experience strong
emotions as they remember what they saw and felt that day—particularly those
who were personally affected by the attacks. These renewed reactions can be
especially unsettling to people who have begun to think they have gotten
over feeling upset. It is important that you know that these ”anniversary
reactions” are normal, and that there are a number of things you can do to
keep from feeling overwhelmed. The following are a few suggestions that may
help you cope with the anniversary of this tragedy.
Most reactions are normal. Everyone will have different reactions to the
anniversary. Many of us won’t be affected very much at all while others may
feel sad, angry, worried, and/or frightened again. It may be hard to
concentrate in school or sleep at night. Even though in many cases these
reactions are temporary, it is better to deal with them than pretend they
don’t exist. Particularly if you find your reactions getting in the way of
your typical daily activities (like going to school or going out with
friends) you will want to ask for assistance.
Talk to your friends, family, or teachers. Often the best way to feel
better about something is to share your feelings with other people. You
realize you are not alone and you can help each other. It is important that
somebody knows how you feel. Identify at least one adult whom you trust to
talk to when you are upset.
Try different ways to express yourself. Talking with others helps but you
also may feel like writing in a journal or doing a creative writing, music,
or art project. Just doing the activity is often enough to make you feel
better but it also may help to share your work with others.
Don’t be surprised if you react differently than you expected. Lots of
factors contribute to how we react to an anniversary. These can include how
you felt at the time of the attacks, how close you were to the events or
someone who was hurt or killed, if you have experienced another crisis since
then, or if you are having difficulties in other areas of your life. What
is important is to be aware of your feelings and not keep them inside.
Get help if you feel overwhelmed. While feeling sad or more anxious is
normal during this time, feeling like you can’t cope is a sign that you need
some help. Tell an adult immediately if your feelings are keeping you from
your normal activities or make you feel panicked, hopeless or alone, out of
control, or like hurting yourself or others. Also, pay attention to the
reactions of your friends. Tell an adult if you are concerned about a
friend who seems unusually distressed.
Maintain your normal routine and be constructive. Sometimes simply helping
out around the house, going to a practice, engaging in a hobby, going to the
movies, or reading a favorite book can help make you feel more in control.
Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Whether it is a class
discussion, a school assembly, or memorial project, you should not feel
forced to participate if you don’t want to. Tell your teacher and they will
find an alternative activity or place for you to be during that activity.
Be respectful of other people’s feelings. Don’t judge the way your
classmates react, or make fun of something they do or say, about the attacks
or anniversary. Even if you don’t agree, you can express your own thoughts
or feelings without being hurtful to others. Never tease or threaten
someone because they are different from you.
Don’t worry if adults seem affected by the anniversary. Your parents,
teachers, and coaches are people, too. It is okay for them to remember how
they felt that day, even if it makes them sad. Like you, adults need to be
able to express their emotions in an appropriate way. Doing so does not
mean there is something wrong with them or with the world.
Focus on being back at school. Just getting back into the school routine
can take a lot of energy. Concentrate on getting organized, doing homework
again, starting extracurricular activities, and catching up with and/or
making new friends. Let your teacher or parents know if the workload or
pace is too much.
Don’t watch too much TV coverage. The media is likely to highlight the
anniversary with emotional coverage such as interviews with survivors and
family members, stories about the terrorists, predictions of future attacks,
and/or replays of the World Trade Center collapse. Watching this kind of
coverage can raise your anxiety level unnecessarily, particularly if you are
not learning new or helpful information.
Take care of yourself. We have a tendency to ignore our health when we are
dealing with strong emotions or the demands of school. Be sure to get
plenty of healthy food, exercise, and sleep. Limit your caffeine and junk
food. Listen to relaxing or favorite music. Go for a walk with a friend
instead of just chatting online. Above all, don’t use drugs or alcohol.
While they may temporarily mask unpleasant reactions, in the long run they
always make problems worse.
Memorial activities can be helpful.
Your school may organize a memorial activity to help students and teachers
express their emotions related to the anniversary. These activities can
help you feel less vulnerable or alone and be a positive step in moving on.
Volunteer to help plan the event if you feel strongly. Ideas include
planting a tree, distributing memory ribbons, writing a poem, creating a
mural or collage, or starting a community-service project. If your school
has no formal plans, do something with your family or a group of classmates
with similar interests. Emphasize the positive things about the people and
events you are remembering such as favorite memories, the importance of
family, a stronger sense of community, and a greater appreciation for our
freedoms. It is okay if you don’t want to be part of a memorial activity,
and you should not feel pressured to do so.
Tips for Parents
The anniversary of September 11th is likely to continue be a significant
event throughout the country. While most people have overcome their
reactions to the attacks, the anniversary of the tragedy may re-awaken
intense feelings in both children and adults. This is particularly true for
individuals who were directly impacted by the events. Parents should be
prepared to help their children cope during the potentially difficult period
leading up to and immediately following the anniversary—a time when children
and youth will also be adjusting to the usual challenges of starting a new
school year. The following suggestions can help parents best meet the needs
of their children and families.
1. Be prepared for your children (and for you) to experience a resurfacing
of emotions. The range of reactions will vary depending on your children’s
personal history and connection to attacks. Some children will exhibit
little to no change in emotion or behavior. Other children will re-
experience feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, or grief like those felt a year
ago.
Related symptoms may include disruptive behavior, reduced concentration,
heightened irritability or sensitivity, and withdrawal. In most cases,
symptoms will subside with your reassurance and support.
2. Be mindful of more severe reactions. Some children may demonstrate more
intense, persistent reactions that warrant professional mental health
intervention. These symptoms include:
-Refusing to go to school and excessive “clinging”
-Persistent fears related to the catastrophe
-Sleep disturbances such as nightmares, screaming during sleep,or bedwetting
-Irritability and loss of concentration
-Being easily startled and jumpy
-New or unusual behavior problems
-Physical complaints for which a physical cause cannot be found
-Withdrawal from family and friends
-Sadness, listlessness, or decreased activity
-Preoccupation with the disaster
Pay particular attention to these symptoms if your child witnessed the
attacks, lost a loved-one, suffered Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),
has other mental health issues, and/or has experienced another traumatic
event. Contact your pediatrician and/or your school psychologist or a
private mental health professional.
3. Allow your children opportunities to express their feelings. Take time
to listen and talk but don’t force discussion. Reassure them that it is
okay to feel sad or upset when they remember an unhappy event and that it is
natural to have such memories on anniversary dates. Also, let them know
that, with the passage of time, the feelings associated with these memories
will lessen. Be patient; children do not always talk about their feelings
readily. Watch for clues that they may want to talk, such as hovering
around
while you do the dishes or yard work. Some children prefer writing, playing
music, or doing an art project as an outlet. Young children may need
concrete activities (such as drawing, looking at picture books, or
imaginative play) to help them identify and express their feelings.
4. Spend family time. Doing enjoyable activities with you reinforces your
children’s sense of stability and normalcy. Try to do things together, such
as eat meals, read, play sports or games, go for walks or bike rides, or
watch nonviolent, non-stressful TV, etc. To the extent possible, postpone
business trips or evening meetings during this time period. Young children
may also want more physical contact (e.g., hugs, holding hands, sitting on
your lap, etc.). You know your children best, and your love and support are
the most important factors to their sense of security. Be observant and
open to their questions, concerns, and/or increased signs of anxiety.
5. Maintain a normal routine but be flexible. Ensure that your child gets
plenty of sleep, regular meals, and exercise. This is particularly
important since they are also adjusting to being back at school. Encourage
them to keep up with their schoolwork and extracurricular activities but
don’t push them if they seem overwhelmed. Spend extra time with them at
bedtime and/or let them keep the light on if they ask.
6. Share any concerns with your child’s new teachers. This is important at
any time during the school year, but particularly at the beginning when
teachers have not had time to get to know their new students well. Let the
teacher know if you think your child is likely to have a difficult time with
the anniversary, what you think the teacher can do to best help your child
cope, and the best way to communicate with you.
7. Reassure your children that they are safe. Remind them that adults are
doing everything possible to prevent further harm. Young children need to
know that you and other important adults in their lives are okay and will
keep them safe. Older children can understand that there are no guarantees
in life but that the chances of something happening to them are remote.
Remind them that attacks on the United States have targeted symbolic
buildings, not local communities, and our government is working to improve
prevention of and emergency response to terrorism.
8. Focus on your children’s strengths. Remind them how well they have done
since September 11th and what they have learned about dealing with their
emotions. Talk about the positive things they can do to maintain a sense of
control, such as reviewing safety skills they may have learned at school;
keeping their desk or room organized; spending time with friends and family;
helping out at home; working harder at a favorite sport or hobby; or doing
volunteer work.
9. Find out how or if your child’s school is planning to handle the
anniversary. Your school should have a plan for helping students during the
anniversary period. This may include guidelines for conducting classroom
activities, conducting memorial activities, reviewing school safety
procedures, and access to mental health services for students who need
them. You should be informed of these plans and know that participating in
any activity should be your child’s choice, not required by the school.
10. Be aware of the potential for bullying at school. Some students may
act out their heightened emotions through anger or intimidation. Let your
children know that you can help if they are being mistreated. Review coping
strategies such as walking away and telling a trusted adult at school. Ask
your principal to have school staff be visible in common areas (e.g.,
hallways, the lunchroom, and locker rooms). They should also be aware of
behavior on the bus and on the way to and from school for children who walk.
11. Help your child identify another trusted adult. For most children, the
natural support systems of their friends and families provide the necessary
sense of stability. It is helpful, however, for your child to know at least
one other adult they can turn to if you or their friends are not available.
12. Remind your child to be respectful of other people’s reactions.
Children don’t always know how to respond to classmates who seem sad,
frightened, or insecure. Suggest that simple actions, like saying, “I am
sorry you are sad,” or asking an upset classmate to eat lunch with them,
will make both your child and their classmate feel better. Reiterate that
teasing or bullying is never okay, that how people express their feelings is
personal, and that all feelings are valid. However, encourage your child to
tell an adult if a friend seems overwhelmed by their emotions or talks of
hurting themselves or others.
13. Turn off the television and news radio. The media is likely to
dramatize the anniversary. Watching replays of the attacks, predictions of
future attacks, assessment of Homeland Security, or even stories about the
history and whereabouts of the terrorists can raise your child’s anxiety
level.
14. Be aware of your own reactions. You may also be affected by the
anniversary, particularly if your family was directly impacted by the
attacks. Your children will look to you for guidance and will also gauge
their current situation based on your reactions. You can be honest about
your feelings but it is important that you are calm and can reassure your
children that things will be okay. Talk to other supportive adults.
Connect with family, friends, or members of your faith community and don’t
hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Take care of your own health by
getting regular meals, exercise, and sleep. Avoid using drugs or alcohol to
feel better.
15. Help your children decide if they want to participate in memorial
activities. Your school or community may mark the anniversary with a
memorial activity. Memorials can be a helpful part of the healing process
because they allow people to come together to express their feelings and
reduce their sense of isolation and vulnerability. But not everyone feels
the need to or is comfortable participating in a memorial. Your child may
want the chance to remember the event in some special way and even to be
involved in the planning, which can help constructively focus feelings of
grief, fear, or anger. However, your child may find a memorial activity too
upsetting. Reassure them that it is perfectly fine not to participate.
Their school should have alternative activities planned for students who
choose not to do so, and you also should find alternative ways to help your
child cope with his or her reactions.
16. Emphasize the positive. Whether it is at school or at home,
anniversary activities should center on the positive attributes of lost
friends or loved ones and/or the empowering effects of the recovery
process. This includes the importance of family, a stronger sense of
community, increased civic activism, the desire to help others, tolerance
for people’s differences, and a greater appreciation for the rights and
responsibilities of American freedom. Activities might include developing
memory books; distributing memory ribbons; planting a flower or a tree;
lighting candles; saying a prayer; creating a mural or collage about the
event and/or the life (lives) of the deceased; writing a poem, story, or
song about the person(s) who died; starting a community-service project; or
attending faith-based ceremonies.