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Laughing improves your health
Joke #1
A Chalmette, LA, gal was driving down the I-10 when her car phone rang. It
was her boyfriend, urgently warning her: "Babe, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on the I-10. Please be
careful!" "It's not just one car!" said the girl. "There's hundreds of
them!!"
Joke#2
This old lady went to a doctor's office and told him that she has bad gas,
but you can't smell it or hear it. So the doctor gives her two pills and
tells her take them and come back tomorrow. She came back and said that you
can't hear the gas but now you can smell it. Then the doctor says, "Good now
we can work on your hearing."
Joke#3
JUST THE FACTS...
1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
2. If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)
3. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet. (Oh My Gosh!)
4. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death. (Creepy...I'm still not over the pig.)
5. The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
the length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky ... can you
imagine??)
6. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the
bottom of a pond?)
7. Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)
8. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
9. Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a
good thing....)
10. A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to
figure that out?)
11. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like
that.)
12. Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)
Joke #4
Why didn't G-Unit get on the bus?
Because they didn't have 50 Cent.
Joke #5
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last
night?
Nurse: No change yet.
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