I-Messages
1. Say the person's name.
2. Say how you feel.
3. Tell why.
4. Tell what you want.
REMEMBER TO:
Watch your body language.
Stand straight with your hands at your sides.
Don't threaten personal space.
Look at the person.
Speak in a clear voice.
WHEN AN I-MESSAGE IS IGNORED:
1. Remind the other person that this is not respectful behavior.
2. Get help from an adult - This is NOT tattling!
3. Have your friends give a "We-Message."
Win/Win Guidelines or Conflict Resolution Bridge
1. Take time to cool off.
2. Each person states their feelings and the problem as they see it
using "I Messages." No blaming, no name calling, no interrupting.
3. Each person states the problem as the other person sees it.
4. Each person says how they are responsible for the problem.
5. Brainstorm solutions and choose one that both people agree on.
6. Affirm, forgive or thank your partner.
Telling Isn't Tattling
Children tattle when they want to-
*get someone in trouble,
*look good in someone else's eyes,
*get attention,
*have an adult solve their problem.
Children are telling when they-
*want protection for themselves or someone else,
*want protection for their own or someone else's property,
*are scared,
*are in danger.
Monster Mouse & Me
Monster = Agressive Behavior
Mouse = Passive Behavior
Me = Assertive Behavior
Normal Conflict VS. Bullying
Equal power-friends Imbalance of power-not friends
Occasional Repeated
Accidental Purposeful
Not Serious Serious-threats,
physical or emotional harm
Equal emotional reaction Strong emotional reaction
on part of the victim
Not seeking power or attention Seeking power or control
Not trying to get something Trying to gain material things
or power
Remorse-taking responsibility No remorse-blames victim
Effort to solve problem No effort to solve problem
STAND UP, SPEAK OUT
How to lend a hand in a bullying situation
1. Group Together - Use a "We" Message
2. Tell them to stop
3. Tell an Adult
4. Don't join in
5. Include everyone
