Relationship to building strong families
Strong families are made up of strong family members. This module is
designed to help participants tap into what they already know from their own
experience, to help them recognize key concepts, to put these concepts into
a framework, and to put words to their efforts to enhance their child’s self-
esteem and self-awareness.
By applying the principles in this module, participants will give their
children “protective factors.” Protective factors are qualities that
safeguard children against becoming involved in activities that can hurt
them. Children who have protective factors, sometimes referred to
as “resilient children,” tend not to experience underage drinking, teenage
pregnancies, drug abuse, and school failure.
A sense of self-worth is critical for developing resiliency, adaptability
and an “I can do it!” attitude that helps us learn, grow, and cope with
life’s frustrations and inevitable problems. Strong parenting
provides “roots” and “wings.” Children need to feel safe, secure, loved, and
part of a family. This foundation provides roots from which the child can
develop wings to explore the world. The child’s first adventures
experiencing the world are safe, small steps. As children get older, their
attempts become bolder, and they gain a sense of who they are in
relationship to their environment.
Parents are an essential part of their child’s environment. Children see
themselves like a branch on a tree. The parents are the trunk that provides
stability and security. If the child thinks something is wrong with the
trunk, he or she will automatically think something is wrong with the
branch. Therefore, in order to foster caring, responsible and strong
children, adults need to have a positive view of themselves (self-concept)
and serve as role models for their children.
Self-awareness is another key part of a child’s development. Self-awareness
is how much we know about ourselves, our beliefs about who we are, and what
we think our capabilities are. As a child’s sense of self develops, so does
the child’s ability to blossom in school and with peers.
This is why the parent’s ability to provide wings is so important. In order
to succeed, children need to gain confidence in their abilities and gain a
sense that they can do things on their own. The precious time between birth
and maturity gives parents many opportunities to balance roots and wings.
If a family is to remain “strong,” members need adequate time to nurture and
support a healthy self-concept (or image) in each other. Parents can lead
the way in providing experiences that enhance their children’s view of
themselves. This module focuses on ways parents can build self-esteem in
their children and themselves in order to improve the quality of their lives
and strengthen family relationships.
Brief program description
Fostering healthy self-esteem and a positive self-concept among family
members can make a real difference in how members view themselves and their
ability to succeed in life. Research shows that parents who guide the
development of resiliency factors in their children can help them learn to
adapt and protect them from such destructive behaviors as drug abuse,
underage drinking, and teen pregnancy.
This module examines factors that encourage development of resilience in
children and strategies for enhancing their self-esteem and self-awareness.
Hands-on, interactive activities help parents develop an awareness of their
child’s need for a positive self-concept and allow exploration of methods
for improving their child’s self-esteem and self-awareness. Participants
will set personal goals for themselves at the conclusion of the session.
Research findings
Many researchers have been able to identify “risk factors” that hinder
healthy self-esteem development in children. Risk factors are things within
the child, family, or community that put children in danger of experiencing
things that hurt them or damage their ability to feel good about themselves
and their abilities. Knowing the risk factors can help parents protect their
children.
Competencies that make children less vulnerable to those risk factors are
equally important for parents to know. Resilience, “the ability to recover
from or adjust easily to misfortune or sustained life stress” (Werner, 1984,
p. 68), has enabled children to succeed in school, avoid drug abuse, and
develop a healthy self-concept. Werner notes resilient children can adapt
more easily to change and have the following characteristics:
Social Competence - responsiveness, flexibility, empathy and caring,
communication skills, a sense of humor (including being able to laugh at
themselves), and any other behavior that increases their ability to get
along with others. This helps the child establish and maintain positive
relationships within and outside the family. For example, by having skills
that make him likable, your son will learn that he is a likable person.
Problem Solving Skills - abstract thinking, reflectivity, flexibility, and
the ability to try alternative solutions in both cognitive and social
problem situations. Children who are able to solve everyday puzzles by
trying something new or different generally do better in school. These
skills can be seen in young children and older children who avoid drug use.
Children who are strong in this skill keep their parents on their toes
because “where there’s a will there’s a way.” They like to question and try
different ways to do things.
Autonomy - self-awareness, sense of identity, ability to act independently,
and ability to exert control over the external environment. If you have ever
heard a 3-year-old say, “I can do it myself!” you have experienced a child
experimenting with autonomy. This sense of knowing they can make it on their
own and knowing what type of person they are will help them be successful in
life.
For children in dysfunctional environments, such as families with
alcoholism, drug abuse, or mental illness, autonomy also means the ability
to distance themselves in an adaptive way from the dysfunction in the
family. Resilient children in these types of families are able to adapt and
see themselves as a healthy branch even though something may be wrong with
the trunk.
Sense of Purpose - sense of purpose in life, “healthy expectancies, goal
directedness, success orientation, achievement, motivation, educational
aspiration, persistence, hopefulness, hardiness, belief in a bright future,
a sense of anticipation, a sense of a compelling future, and a sense of
coherence”.
This sense of a goal or target for their future enables children to delay
gratification (or put off something that they want today so they can have
something better tomorrow), avoid drugs and teen pregnancies in order to
ensure a successful and pleasant future. A belief that they are going to do
something and be someone in the future is an essential element in self-
esteem, identity, and self-awareness.
The good news is that resiliency factors can be taught, modeled, and
encouraged by families, schools, and communities. Resiliency in children is
nourished if the family environment is caring and supportive, if there is a
high parental expectation for a child’s success, and if the child’s
participation in family activities is encouraged. School and community
environments can foster an atmosphere of adaptablity and resiliency in
children:
· when the atmosphere of the school and community is caring and supportive;
· when teachers and community members have high expectations for the
children’s performance; · when opportunities for children to become involved
and participate in a meaningful way are provided; · when children are give
responsibilities.
Building resiliency in children and adults is a healthy human developmental
process. Families with resilient members are strong families because they
weather life’s difficulties and take care of each other’s emotional needs.
Goals and objectives
To understand causes of low self-esteem and lack of self-awareness;
To identify and discuss ways to create resilient family members with healthy
self images;
To develop goals for achieving healthy self-esteem and self-awareness in
themselves and their children;
To identify strategies for developing resiliency factors within the family.
