FAQ - Oft Gestellte Fragen

1. Is your first name Herr?
2. Is it true that you were a German professor at Harvard in the late 1980s?
3. How old are you?
4. What is the meaning of life?
5. How many years in a row has the CH Pep Band won a State Championship?
6. Is German an easy language to learn? Easier than Spanish?
7. What is the one piece of advice you would give all students?
8. Who is your favorite philosopher?
9. What are you doing for Spring Break this year?
10. Were you going to say something about the meaning of life?
11. Who is the best drummer you have ever heard or seen?
12. Do you believe in ghosts?
13. Is it true you were raised by a family of Bigfoots in Oregon?
14. How long were you active in the Church of Scientology?
15. What exactly does the CH Pep Band stands for, if anything?
16. Were you adopted at the age of 35 by Prince Friedrich von Anhalt?

Is your first name Herr?

It's actually pronounced Hair.

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Is it true that you were a German professor at Harvard in the late 1980s?

This is of course ridiculous.  I was however a full professor 
with tenure at Yale University from 1988 to 1992. Previous to 
that I taught at the Univeristy of Heidelberg in Germany.  My 
courses were restricted to Middle and Low German dialects and 
13th century Hessian poetry.  

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How old are you?

I'm too young for Medicare but too old for you to care.  - 
Adapted from Kinky Friedman)

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What is the meaning of life?

I would refer you to Q and A number 10 in this list for the 
answer to the meaning of life.

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How many years in a row has the CH Pep Band won a State Championship?

6 (Updated 12-11-09)

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Is German an easy language to learn? Easier than Spanish?

Yes, speaking German is simply a matter of speaking English with 
an exaggerated, stereotypical German accent.  Lots of spitting 
and gargling while speaking enhance the convincing illusion of 
fluency.

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What is the one piece of advice you would give all students?

My one piece of advice would be this: Don't try to simplify life 
and its  mysteries down to one single thing.

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Who is your favorite philosopher?

Kevin Malarkey

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What are you doing for Spring Break this year?

Contrary to what many believe, I rarely have the time these days 
to actually go on vacations. When I do I have been known to spend 
summers in Malibu with my adopted father, Prince Friedrich von 
Anhalt and his wife Eva Gabor. I spend the hottest days of the 
summer living on my sailboat on Catalina Island.

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Were you going to say something about the meaning of life?

If you scrolled down here after reading Q and A number 4 and you 
are looking for a quick answer to the meaning of life, then you 
have bigger problems to deal with first.

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Who is the best drummer you have ever heard or seen?

That would be a tight toss up between Buddy Rich and Grady Rosser.
Difficult question to answer.

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Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes but only the one that I personally have seen and spoken with 
in the basement of Cascia Hall...  Biff is his name

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Is it true you were raised by a family of Bigfoots in Oregon?

No.  This is a good example of the CH rumor mill in full swing.  
Here is the true story and you'll see how it has been twisted: 

I took part in a domestic student exchange program with a very 
large-footed family in Washington state for one semester in 1984. 

The host family was very nice but I never quite measured up since 
I only wear a size 12.  

They were a very extraordinary family.  They lived in the 
wilderness, they had no actual shelter, they were about 9 feet 
tall when completely grown, VERY hairy (even the women in the 
family), and they had a terrible stench which seemed to be an 
uncontrollable problem for each of them.

One more thing - the only pictures I have of this family turned 
out very grainy and the videos are all very shaky.

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How long were you active in the Church of Scientology?

I was very active in the C of S up until the time that South Park 
aired its episode mocking the religion.  It was at that point 
that I realized I had been taught the upper echelon teachings of 
the faith by an animated child.  To attain this knowledge in the 
normal fashion through the Church of Scientology would have cost 
me about $200,000 in classes.  

South Park came as a part of my basic cable package for $35 per 
month.

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What exactly does the CH Pep Band stands for, if anything?

The CH Pep Band actually stands against more things than the 
things we stand for.  
1. We are against marching band uniforms, 
2. meeting at the exact time that we announce for practices and 
dinner; 
3. we are against organization, 
4. schedules, 
5. adding woodwinds to the pep band and 
6. playing as a group for sports other than football.

Of course we have our four core values of "VERITAS, UNITAS, 
CARITAS and PERCUSSIO"

After that we stand for food, fellowship, football and drums.  

We also stand strongly for whatever might catch our attention at 
any given moment.  Please see the "ANNOUNCEMENTS" link on this 
site to keep up with that ever changing list.

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Were you adopted at the age of 35 by Prince Friedrich von Anhalt?

Yes, Prince Friedrich von Anhalt is my legal father.  He is a 
part of the former aristocracy in Germany.  He adopted me in 
1998.  

Soooooo...  if my father is a Prince, what does that make me?  A 
Duke? A Count?  A Prince??? 

I think maybe I might change my name from Herr to something 
else...

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