Motivating Your Middle Level
Child
Offer Praise
Never underestimate the power of the
words, "good job!" Children want approval--even sometimes aloof middle
graders. A positive response, such as a hug or a smile, can be a great
incentive. Whether it's for washing the dishes or passing a math quiz, a word
of encouragement will show your middle grader that you notice his hard work.
His self-confidence will soar, and he will want to keep trying.
Create Excitement
When your middle grader needs help
getting motivated for a task, find a way to make it enjoyable. For example, if
you make reviewing for a test entertaining, you're not only helping her study,
you're teaching her that learning doesn't have to be boring.
Show Interest
Let your middle grader know that
what she's involved in is important to you. When you express curiosity about a
new computer game she's playing with her friends or you regularly attend
meetings at school, your child will see that you're interested.
Give Rewards
Simple rewards, such as extra
privileges, can be powerful motivators. But rewards should be used sparingly.
Bargaining too much can limit your child's natural motivation by putting the
focus on getting something.
Use Consequences
Experts agree that punishing kids
for not doing what they're supposed to do doesn't always produce improved
results. However, linking consequences to performance can provide a reason for
your child to get the job done while giving him a greater sense of control
over his life. i.e., "You can go over to your friend's house after you do
your homework for a half hour."
Encourage Problem Solving
When your middle grader runs into a
problem, avoid solving it for her. Instead, give hints that help her discover
the answer. The more she does on her own, the more confident she will feel
about her work and the harder she will try. And she'll learn how to handle
future problems.
Manage Stress
You may not realize it, but stress
can zap your child's energy. Feeling that he can't get everything done can
keep your youngster from trying to do anything. Help him simplify his schedule
to regain the motivation he needs to focus on what's most important.
Provide Choices
Children, like adults, are motivated
by their own interests. Allowing your middle grader to make decisions will
give her a sense of control and encourage her to tackle the job.
Establish Expectations
It's important for parents to set
high standards for their children at home and at school. Students whose
parents expect them to do well in school have a better chance of learning
success. Encourage your child to give her best effort in everything she does.
Let her know that some things may be harder for her than others, but there's
no excuse for not trying.
Accept Mistakes
Some kids are afraid of trying new
things because they think that making a mistake means they failed. When your
middle grader messes up, tell him you believe in him, and give him a chance to
try again. Treating mistakes as opportunities instead of failures shows that
you value effort, not just achievement.
Preparing Your Child For Secondary School
One of the significant milestones in a child's
life is the move from elementary to secondary school. Students may feel both
excited and nervous about what, for them, is a large step. As they look
forward to the increased freedom and choices that secondary school presents,
they may worry about making friends, fitting in, increased homework, time
management, and getting lost in a new school. Parents, students, and school
staff can work together to help make the move less stressful and give students
a successful start in secondary school.
What Parents Can Do
Parental involvement is critical to a student's
successful transition from elementary to secondary school.
- Keep the lines of communication open. Listen for
what excites or worries your children about the move to the secondary level.
Give them the time to talk about what excites them and what they are learning
from it. When your child appears worried, for instance about making new
friends, ask the child to recount a similar situation in the past and how he
or she dealt with it. Could the child use the same skills in this new
situation? Children need to see that they already have many of the skills
needed to handle most of their concerns.
- Act as a source of information for your
children. Attend parent information evenings at the elementary school, open
houses and information evenings at the secondary school, or meet with the
elementary guidance counselor and ask questions important to your child and
yourself.
- Inform yourselves about the secondary school
they will be attending. Help your child become familiar with secondary school
life by attending music nights or school performances at the secondary school.
An excellent resource for students and parents to access school information is
the TDSB web site at www.tdsb.on.ca. Click on "Find Your School."
What
Students Can Do
Students generally begin exploring the secondary
school program in grade 8, however, planning for the transition to secondary
school sooner may help them be better prepared.
- Beginning in grade 7, students have an
opportunity to complete the Annual Education Plan (AEP) where they set
academic, social, and career-related goals for the year.
- Students who are concerned about increased
workload can ease their transition into secondary school by speaking to their
guidance counselors or teachers about study skills programs. Students can also
access study skills and homework help on various web sites such as the Ontario
School Counselors' Association at www.osca.ca or the TVO web site at
www.ilc.org and click on "Ask A Teacher!"
- For students wishing to attend secondary schools
with specialized programs such as the arts, math, science, or computers, it is
recommended that they research the entry requirements into these programs
before grade 8, and work toward them. Students are encouraged to speak with
guidance counselors and attend open houses with their parents for more
information.
- Students should reflect on or have a discussion
about other significant transitions (grade to grade or school to school) and
think about the skills they used to make the change as smooth as possible.