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Northside Christian School Fourth Grade |
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SELF-ESTEEMSelf-esteem
ELEMENTS FOR DEVELOPING SELF ESTEEM
12 STEPS TO HELP YOUR CHILD SUCCEED 1. Success: Let your child know from the beginning that his success in school is very important to you and that you expect him to reach his fullest potential. Make sure he forms his work habits correctly. 2. Homework: Set regular homework periods. Designate a specified time and place with peace and quiet (no TV or stereo blaring the latest sports game). Fourth graders should spend an average of 40 minutes per night on homework. 3. Meet the teacher: and voice any special concerns or problems you may have. 4. Be Aware: Dont become a pawn. Children can become remarkably adept at maneuvering parents and teachers against one another. If you have a complaint, call the teacher! Dont use your child as a sounding board for your frustrations (or other parents). Parental concerns are a major part of any teacher's job description. 5. Praise: Value and praise work. They aren't supposed to be perfect. They are just supposed to be learning. Put best papers on refrigerator or home bulletin board what you value, your child will value too. 6. Build responsibility: Create a system of rewards and punishment such as keeping a bedroom in order, completing certain cleaning duties at home (even if he doesn't do them as well as you can at first). 7. TV: Control the television set. (See Charlie and the Chocolate Factory poem below) 8. Be realistic . Assess your child's ability with blunt honesty and without being embarrassed as if you were somehow responsible for the fact that they are not Einstein. Some children are going to be better in some academic areas than others. Some will struggle their entire school years just to pass. Parents set themselves up for disappointment if they hold aspirations for having a doctor in the family when their child's interests are directed more towards resuscitating car engines. Be mindful that your child's life is not ultimately yours. It is God's and He already has a plan. It is your job to help your child find that plan by teaching him to follow God and do his best at whatever God has put before him. Be proud of his skills and talents in whatever area they lie. 9. Encourage outside interests. Every child needs activities beyond school. Whatever a child's interests are: piano lessons, ballet, sports, scuba diving, or stamp collecting encourage him to pursue and channel his energies in this direction. Every child needs to see himself and be perceived by others as having some special skill or talent. This attribute pays off in self-esteem and peer respect. 10. Working for money Having a job or chores to do is an important part of the growing up experience, even for a grade school child. A child with a job simply feels better about himself. A child who earns his own money will use greater discretion in spending it than he will about spending yours. Trite but true: Boys and girls need to learn to recognize the value of a dollar and relate money to effort expended. The allowance system should always be based on chores being completed. Nobody should be paid for just breathing :) 11. Communicate: A child needs to share the problems and joys of the day through small talk. Often a child will use his parents as a springboard to test his ideas, or as a safety net for posing questions. Sometimes these questions are expressed as outrageous opinions. The child may really be seeking affirmation that you truly care about him or that your values are what you say they are and are consistent with what is being talked about in the classroom. He may simply be trying to determine what he really thinks. In any case, be calm and talk. Care enough to describe what you think. Listen to your child, even if you are bored or outraged. You really need to worry more when children won't speak than when they do. The dinner table, without the ubiquitous television set, is a good time for this sharing to take place and has become a lost art in the family. 12. High expectations : Expect your child to achieve his or her very best. Doing work correctly and neatly is a value that will serve him well in school and later in the work place. Children should aim to get the best grades they can achieve. Don't accept less just because it is a passing grade. Grades are not our emphasis, learning is!
HELP! My child's grades are dropping in fourth grade! what should I do?? My Son Is Not Adjusting Well to Fourth Grade Ask the Experts: My son's grades are falling. How can I help him adjust to his teacher's teaching style? By Dr. Stacie Bunning, Clinical Psychologist Question: My son has been getting C's and D's on his grammar and math tests. He was an A student in third grade. He is also an excellent creative writer. I am baffled as to why he is not doing well this year. I have had talks with his teacher. She says he appears not to be paying attention and is often caught daydreaming. She even consulted his third-grade teacher from last year, who was surprised and said that was not like him. My son says he misses his third-grade teacher and that she made classroom learning fun. It seems he is not adjusting well to his fourth-grade teacher's teaching style. How can I get him back on track to being the "A" student he is capable of being? Answer: There's no question that fourth grade is one of the most challenging of the elementary grades, with several important changes taking place. Learning occurs at a quicker pace, with lessons in all subject areas being taught in longer segments (30- 45-minute blocks). The teacher will probably also teach "across the curriculum," using reading, writing and math to augment lessons in other subjects, such as social studies and science. There are added responsibilities, increased homework and greater emphasis on independence. It can be a lot to handle. On top of those changes, adjustment to a new grade in school is often uneven at first, and many children have problems at the start of the new school year. They may miss being home for the summer, or they may miss their friends from their old class. Some students, like your son, miss their old teacher and feel reluctant to connect with a new one out of a sense of loyalty. Your son could be feeling a combination of these issues. Here are some suggestions: Help your son re-establish routines from earlier grades for doing homework and studying. Make sure he has a quiet, well- lit place free of distractions. Review his assignments with him until he is back on track. Be aware that children often jump to negative conclusions about a teacher, rules or procedures when everything is new. Go over the classroom rules and procedures with your son, and illustrate for him the similarities between these and those of his past classrooms. Resist the temptation to make excuses for your son's attitude. Remind him that throughout life there will be people who are not his favorites. Sometimes those will be peers, other times it will be a boss, co-workers or a teacher. Explain that he needs to work hard and show respect in school, regardless of his personal feelings. Speak with the teacher again about her observation that your son was daydreaming and inattentive. Does it occur only during particular subjects, or is it consistently seen? Consider a visit to the pediatrician to discuss these concerns and rule out a health issue. Ask for a hearing and vision check. If you still have concerns about the teacher, then arrange a conference. A good teacher will want to work with you to make your child's experience a positive one. Dr. Stacie Bunning, Psy.D, is a licensed clinical psychologist in the St. Louis, Missouri, area. She has worked with children, adolescents and their families in a variety of clinical settings for 20 years. She also teaches courses in child psychology, adolescent psychology and human development through the lifespan at Maryville University in St. Louis. October 2007 |
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