As parents, we want our children to learn. We know the
benefits of being able to read well, to write clearly, to solve problems and
to communicate effectively. Not only do these abilities allow us to earn a
decent living, but they also help us to enjoy life and to appreciate its
wonders and beauty. So, as many generations before us, we preach the benefits
of a good education and try with deliberate effort to uphold, at least
verbally, the values of studying, of "hitting the books and burning the
midnight oil." But with our begging and threatening our children to study and
learn, many of them seem to turn away and perceive us simply as nagging
parents with little impact on their daily learning. We, in turn, often feel
guilty and fatigued by these constant battles for our children's benefit, and
resent our roles as minister- wardens in the service of modern education.
What Can Parents Do?
There is much that we can do. What
follows is a checklist of parental behaviors that can facilitate the
motivation of our children to learn. None of these suggestions in and of
itself is enough to spell the difference between a child who studies and one
who does not study. Rather it is their combination and employment as a
totality that can realistically help our sons and daughters to consistently
involve themselves in the pursuit of learning at school as well as at home.
* Actively demonstrate your value for
learning.The basic question here is "Can your children see that you are still
a learner?" Do you read books, go to the library, watch educational TV
programs, write letters, or attend local school functions? Do you discuss
ideas at home, share opinions on social and political change, or wonder out
loud about new scientific and aesthetic discoveries? Do you read to your
children, play educational games like Monopoly and chess with them, or
facilitate their involvement in creative projects? Our modeling is a powerful
incentive to our children's learning. If they see us doing it, then they know
it's worthwhile and can identify with us. If they don't see us enjoying
learning, they can dismiss our support for learning as another example of "not
practicing what we preach."
* Show a non threatening interest in
your child's learning.This means that you care and want to know what your
child is learning, but not for purposes of criticism or surveillance. In this
manner you might ask about what s/he is learning in school or indicate your
desire to see papers and projects s/he is creating.
* The dinner table is an excellent
setting for exploration of new things your child has learned at school. On
these occasions your disposition should be to understand and share in the
enjoyment of your child's learning. They are not situations in which to
criticize or be demanding of the child to improve or to show superior work.
Such reactions will usually cause the young person to avoid discussions of
this nature, or worse, to resent schoolwork for the oppression it brings to
home life.
* Consistently offer your child a
sincere expectancy that s/he can learn effectively. In order to learn,
children must believe that they can learn. Much of this attitude is influenced
by the work they do in school and the expectations and feedback they receive
from teachers and other students. You as a parent, however, are the most
important adult in your child's life. Whatever you say or do regarding his or
her ability to learn will have a major impact on the child's self-concept as
an effective learner. By acknowledging effort as well as success, you tell the
child that the intrinsic act of learning is valued. This approach builds an
appreciation of learning for the sake of learning.
* Get involved in your child's school.
At one time it was believed that students did not learn because they were lazy
or stupid. We now know that this is a misleading and injurious fallacy. At
least two other erroneous beliefs continue to misguide us, however - one, that
students don't learn because their teachers are not effective; the other, that
students will not learn because their parents don't care and therefore don't
prepare them to learn. Both may have some partial truth, but both are far too
simplistic to explain the causes behind poor student motivation. It is far
more likely that the student, the teacher, and the parent all play significant
roles in determining how motivated the student is to learn. As parents, we can
do our part by being involved in the life of those schools that educate our
children. By knowing the teachers, by being aware of the curriculum, and by
supporting the school itself, we ourselves can be more knowledgeable and,
indeed, motivated to facilitate the motivation of our children to learn.