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Conflict or disagreement is normal and often happens when children get
together. However, hurtful words, gestures, or physical attack are
unacceptable ways to deal with conflict and disagreement at school.
Our goal is to teach students several positive ways to deal with these
difficult situations using an adorable frog puppet named Kelso. To do this,
we ask students who have "small problems" to try at least two
of "Kelso's Choices:"
1) Go to another game or activity
2) Share and take turns
3) Respectfully talk it over and listen to each other
4) Walk away from the problem
5) Ignore the problem behavior
6) Respectfully tell the person to stop the problem behavior
7) Apologize
8) Make a deal or compromise
9) Wait and cool off
This process can be done before asking for adult help. When a request for
adult help is made, it will include the two ideas tried; for example: "Mrs.
Jones, Ted is teasing me about my glasses. I tried ignoring him, and I've
told him it hurts my feelings when he makes fun of me. He's still calling me
names." The adult at school will then get involved and help solve the
problem using our school discipline plan.
Of course, the adult will immediately handle any serious conflicts that
cause a child to feel threatened or frightened. The students are taught that
these are "big problems," and they should tell an adult if any student is in
danger or being bullied.
By using this plan, we believe that our students will develop effective
problem-solving skills that they can use again and again. It will help them
to deal with conflict in a positive manner and to make appropriate
decisions. Knowing what to do will help students reduce the stress and the
number of conflicts they have at school and in their neighborhood.
This program has been in use at Trantwood for several years, and is very
engaging to our students. Colorful charts illustrating Kelso's Choices are
displayed in each classroom and common area so that the students
remember to use them. We encourage you to become familiar with this program
and use it in your home. By working together, we can develop a healthy life
skill for young people to use at home and at school.
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