Mrs. Bonvouloir

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Bullying Prevention

Hillside Elementary carries out the Clover Park School District Policy on 
Bullying and Harrassment by educating students about bullying, teaching them 
how to respond, reinforcing the reporting channels, and enforcing the school 
rule/behavior expectations with our schoolwide discipline policy. Incidents 
of harrassment, intimidation or bullying (HIB) can be reported annonymously, 
confidentially, or non-confidentially using Incident Reporting Forms.  
Incident Reporting Forms are available from all staff,in the front office, or 
can be sent home by calling the front office.

      Clover Park School District Information for Parents

 Harassment, intimidation and bullying—not allowed 
District strengthens policy in line with state standards 
Kidding, teasing and practical jokes have been happening in schools, on 
playgrounds and in backyards for ages. These actions often lead to hurt 
feelings and childhood spats, which are quickly resolved with time or an 
apology amongst friends. 
Harassment, intimidation and bullying are something else. 

What are harassment, intimidation and bullying? 
A person who is harassed, intimidated and/or bullied is exposed to abusive 
actions repeatedly over time. These actions are forms of violence and may be 
direct or indirect. 
Direct or identifiable actions may include: 
• Tripping, shoving or physically harming another person; and 
• Verbal threats, name calling, racial slurs and insults; and/or 
• Demanding money, property, or some service to be performed. 

Indirect actions may be more difficult to detect and may include: 
• Rejecting, excluding or isolating target(s); and 
• Humiliating target(s) in front of friends; and 
• Manipulating friends and relationships; and 
• Sending hurtful or threatening e-mails, text messages, instant messages or 
written notes; and 
• Blackmailing, terrorizing or posing dangerous dares; and/or 
• Using the Internet to taunt or degrade a target and inviting others to join 
in posting humiliating notes or messages. 

During its July meeting, Clover Park School District’s Board of Directors 
adopted Policy 3207—Prohibition of Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying. In 
accordance with state law, (RCW 28A.300.285) district administrators worked 
with staff members, parents, students and community members to revise and 
enhance its existing anti-bullying policy and procedures. 
“The safety of our students is one of our biggest priorities,” said 
Superintendent Debbie LeBeau. “The district already had an anti-bullying 
policy, but it was important to update it to reflect changes in state law and 
our changing world. District administrators worked with staff, students, 
families and the community to ensure many voices were heard in the process. 
Harassment, intimidation and bullying are very serious offenses and our new 
policy and procedures ensure that our students are safe; people know how to 
report problems; and staff know what to do to immediately stop the 
inappropriate behaviors.” 

How do I know if my child is a victim? 
If you suspect your child is being harassed, intimidated and/or bullied, do 
not accept the behaviors as a problem your child has to live with. It’s 
important children understand that telling a trusted adult is not tattling. 
Victims of bullying often display tell-tale symptoms. These can include: 
• Trouble sleeping; 
• Wetting the bed; 
• Stomach and headaches; 
• Lack of appetite and/ or throwing up; 
• Fear of going to school; 
• Visiting the school nurse more often; 
• Crying before/after school; 
• Lack of interest at social events that include other students; 
• A marked change in attitude, dress or habits; 
• Unexplained broken personal possessions, loss of money, loss of personal 
• Acting out aggression at home; and/or 
• Missing or incomplete school work, or decreased success in class. 

How do I report an incident? 
If the problem is happening at school, report it right away. Reports of 
harassment, intimidation and bullying may be made verbally or in writing to 
any staff member—anonymously, confidentially or non-confidentially. 

What’s being done to prevent harassment, intimidation and bullying? 
The newly-adopted procedures include several actions related to the 
prevention of harassment, intimidation and bullying: 
• Students will receive age-appropriate information to help them recognize, 
report and prevent harassment, intimidation and bullying; 
• Staff will receive annual training on the new policy and procedures, 
including roles and responsibilities; 
• District and school websites will share information on how to report 
instances of harassment, intimidation and bullying—including contact 
information for the appropriate district administrators and district 
compliance officer; 
• The policy and procedures will also be readily available on district and 
school websites and in all schools and district offices; and 
• Anti-bullying strategies and expectations will be incorporated into the 
counseling and guidance curriculum. 

What can I do to teach my child about harassment, intimidation and bullying? 
It’s important that parents teach their children the following: 
• To respect and treat others the way they want to be treated; 
• It isn’t okay to make fun of someone different; 
• How to clearly tell someone to stop teasing them before it becomes 
harassment, intimidation and/or bullying; and 
• When to ask for help. 

For questions or more information, contact Holly Shaffer, director of student 
services and district compliance officer, at 583-5154.


                 How to Handle a Bully

1.      Stand tall and don’t act afraid-it takes courage to stand up and act 
like nothing is wrong, but if you show give a bully a reaction or are 
bothered by him or her, you win and the bully loses.

2.      Ignore and walk away but with confidence!

3.      Tell them to stop it in a way that you mean it, with a voice that is 
strong and confident. If you get mad, they will get the reaction they want 
too. Stay calm and act like it doesn’t bother you.  Practice.

4.      Stay with other kids and have them stick up for you too.

5.      Tell an adult especially if you feel threatened or the person is much 
more powerful than you. 

6.      Use positive “self talk” to help you get through it like: “Even 
though I don’t like this teasing, I can handle it.” Or “I won’t cry or act 
scared; I will look confident.” “I won’t let this get me down or mad or 
scared etc.

7.      Imagine the words of the teaser bouncing off of you-

8.      Accept the tease as positive-“Yes, I do have poor vision, or yes, I 
like to eat!”

9.      Say, “So?”-----The kids liked this one!

10.  Respond with a compliment-

11.  Use humor-diffuses mean comments-if you can laugh at yourself too-helps 

12.  Don’t fight, get mad, and refuse to get scared or hurt.  A bully can say 
mean things and hurt your feelings-don’t give them power by getting to you.


National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) Information Paper for 
parents on Bullying-    Behavior Problems Bullies and Victims 
                        By Kari A. Sassu, MSEd, Mahri J. Elinoff, MA, 
                        Melissa A. Bray, PhD, NCSP, & Thomas J. Kehle, PhD
                        University of Connecticut

It is unlikely that any school is completely free from all bullying behavior. 
The prevalence of bullying is staggering. Estimates of the
prevalence of bullying have ranged from a reported 10% of children who were 
said to have been the victims of severe acts of bullying to
75%of children who reported being bullied at least once during the academic 
year. Researchers have concluded from these statistics that
at least 25%of all children will be affected by bullying at some point during 
their school years, and many of these children miss significant
numbers of school days each year owing to fear of being bullied.
Bullying: Basic Facts
Bullying, as defined by Olweus (1993; see “Resources”), occurs when a student 
is repeatedly harmed, psychologically and/or
physically, by another student or a group of students. Bullies are typically 
physically, psychologically, or socially stronger than the
children they bully. It is important to realize that bullying may present 
itself in different forms, including, but not limited to, physical
assaults or aggressions, verbal and/or physical threats, intentional 
exclusion from a group, spreading rumors, menacing gestures or
faces, or repeated name calling.
Both boys and girls engage in bullying behavior, but some differences are 
evident. Boys, for example, typically engage in direct,
overt bullying behaviors, including physical assaults or verbal taunts and 
threats. Girls often use more indirect, discreet means to bully
others, such as intentionally leaving someone out of activities or spreading 
One common misconception is that bullying is an unavoidable part of childhood 
and adolescence. For this reason, bullying
behaviors may be ignored or not noticed. Teachers and parents may not 
recognize certain behaviors as “bullying.” However, there may
be serious consequences to dismissing such detrimental behaviors as 
commonplace. Chronic victims of bullying report physical and
mental health problems, may develop depression or low self-esteem, may bring 
weapons to school, and may contemplate suicide more
often than their nonbullied peers. Bullying can create a climate of fear and 
anxiety, not only for the direct victims, but for the bystanders
as well. This negative climate may limit students’ opportunity for a safe, 
healthy learning environment.
The future for bullies is also quite grim. Along with a higher likelihood of 
underachievement in academic settings, bullies are more
likely to become abusive spouses or parents and to engage in criminal 
activities as adults.
It is clear that bullying is a significant problem that affects many children 
and deserves the attention of both educators and parents.
The best strategy to address the problem of bullying is prevention. Creating 
a comprehensive plan for coping with this issue is of the
utmost importance to school personnel. School personnel can do their part by 
imposing strict policies against bullying and
implementing school-wide prevention programs. However, if parents suspect or 
learn of bullying behavior, then there are several things
they can do to intervene.
Be Alert to Warning Signs of Bullying
Watch for warning signs that your child might be engaging in bullying 
behavior. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
• Has my child ever been accused of being a bully at school or elsewhere?
• Has my child gotten into trouble for fighting (physically or verbally) with 
other children at school?
• Does my child become easily frustrated when he does not get his way? Is my 
child defiant or oppositional?
• Who are my child’s friends? How does my child interact with others? Have I 
witnessedmy child with other children? Is she dominant
or aggressive?
• What does my child do with spare time? What are my child’s hobbies?
• Does my child speak about other children as “stupid” or use other negative 
terms to describe others? Does my child talk about
certain children “deserving” bad things to happen to them or showing little 
concern for others in bad situations?
Ensuring a healthy start. Promoting a bright future.
Bullies and Victims:
Information for Parents
NASP Behavior Problems Bullies and Victims 2
Be Alert to Warning Signs of
Watch for warning signs that your child might be the
victim of bullying. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
• Does my child fear going to school? Is my child anxious
about school? Has my child been out sick a lot? Does my
child often complain about not feeling well as a way of
avoiding school?
• Have I noticed bruises on my child? When I ask my child
about the bruises, what is the response?
• Does my child have friends? Who are the friends? Have I
seen the way that they interact? Is my child submissive or
withdrawn with other children?
• Does my child seem unhappy or insecure? Does my child
talk about “nobody liking her” or “not having any
friends?” Does my child talk about wanting to hurt
someone or get back at someone?
• Does my child seem to have low self-esteem or selfconfidence?
Does my child have difficulty being
What You Can Do if You Suspect Your
Child Is Being Bullied
Talking about being bullied may be a difficult thing to do
with your child. Here are some suggestions:
• Do not confront the suspected bully or bullies on your
own. Your first instinct may be to protect your child and
address the suspected bully directly. This may only serve
to escalate the situation, and ultimately make things
• Talk to a school administrator about the situation.
Remember that the school is responsible for providing
your child with a safe learning environment.
• Ask your child what takes place in school, what happens
when there is free time, how they are feeling. Talk with
your child about different aspects of school and how they
feel about it.
• Role play with your child and discuss ways they can
respond to a bully. Some possibilities might include
walking away, telling an adult, or asking for help from
• Teach your child that telling on those who bully should
not be considered tattling, and that everyone is a victim
when the bully is allowed to treat others badly. Let your
child know that by reporting bullying help will come and
that support will come from you and from the school staff.
• Encourage your child to talk with friends about bullying.
Bullies rarely target kids in groups, so maintaining a peer
group that is unified may be helpful in avoiding being the
target of bullying behavior.
• Ensure appropriate adult supervision at all times. Be
aware of your child’s involvement in activities inside and
outside of school. Make certain that adequate adult
supervision is present in every situation.
What You Can Do if You Suspect Your
Child Is Bullying Others
If you discover that your child is bullying others, itmay be
difficult to accept or understand. Here are some suggestions:
• Become familiar with the anti-bullying policy at your
child’s school. Discuss school rules and behavior
expectations with your child. Ensure that your child
understands what behaviors are acceptable and what
behaviors are unacceptable.
• Find out exactly what it is that your child has been doing.
What has your child been accused of doing? What does
your child admit to doing?
• Talk to your child, calmly, about why such behaviors are
being engaged in. It is important that you not approach
your child in an accusatory or confrontational tone. Your
child may be experiencing social or emotional difficulties
that are difficult to handle. Some children may feel
pressure to participate in bullying behavior in order to fit
in with peers or to avoid being bullied themselves.
• Explain to your child why bullying behavior is
unacceptable. Attempts should be made to explain how
bullying affects others (victims, bystanders, school
• Discuss alternatives to aggressive behavior with your
child. Role playing may help some children to understand
how it feels to be bullied. Teach your child some
alternatives to aggressive behavior such as asking for
help, respecting others, and showing tolerance for those
who are different. Praise your child for using alternative,
appropriate behavior. Acknowledgment of desirable
behaviors will serve as a reward for your child and
encourage the use of such behaviors in the future.
• Establish rules regarding aggressive behavior. Explain to
your child that there will be consequences for these types
of behaviors, such as losing privileges (consequences
should be nonphysical in nature). Implement nonphysical
consequences consistently when rules are
• Ensure appropriate adult supervision at all times. Be
aware of your child’s involvement in activities inside and
outside of school. Make certain that adequate adult
supervision is present in every situation.
• Report any incidents of bullying behaviors to school
officials, even if your child is the one engaging in those
behaviors. This teaches children that they are
accountable for their own behavior. Engage school
officials’ help in monitoring and addressing these
behaviors. This will show your child that you will not
tolerate such behavior, and that you want to help your
child avoid it.
• Seek outside help. Dealing with bullying behavior is
difficult. Your school’s psychologist, counselor, or social
worker may be able to offer additional suggestions or
work with your child to change behavior.
NASP Behavior Problems Bullies and Victims 3
• Report any incidents of bullying behaviors, even if your
child is not the target of such behavior, to school officials.
Engage school officials’ help in monitoring and
addressing these behaviors. This will show your child that
you and others are committed to stopping all such
• Seek outside help. Addressing bullying behavior and its
consequences is a difficult task. Your school’s
psychologist, counselor, or social worker may be able to
offer additional suggestions or work with your child in
dealing with bullies.
What You Can Do to Help Eliminate
Whether or not you suspect bullying behavior is occurring
at your child’s school, you may want to consider getting
involved in establishing an anti-bullying prevention plan at the
school if the school does not already have such a policy.
Additionally, you may want to consider talking with school
officials about the school’s current policy for responding to
bullying behavior.
Many states have policies in place that may explain your
child’s rights with regard to bullying behaviors and what
should be done when those behaviors occur in schools. Visit
www.bullypolice.org or call your state department of
education for more information about your state’s policy
against bullying. It is important to teach your child that
bullying of any sort is not acceptable behavior even if you do
not believe that your child is in danger of being victimized or
committing such acts. Encourage your child to report all
incidents of bullying to you or school officials.
Getting involved in your child’s life both inside and outside
of school is important, both for your own sake and for your
child’s. You will see how your child interacts with other children
and will be able to take steps if you see any potentially
troublesome behaviors that are taking place. Talking with your
child about how to engage in nonviolent interactions and how
to respond to those who bully will prepare your child for such
situations in school and elsewhere.
Coloroso, B. (2003). The bully, the bullied and the bystander:
Breaking the cycle of violence. New York: Harper Resource.
ISBN: 0060014296.
Olweus, D. (1993). Bullying at school: What we know and what
we can do (understanding children’s worlds). Malden, MA:
Blackwell. ISBN: 0631192417.
Rigby, K. (2001). Health consequences of bullying and its
prevention in schools. In J. Juvonen & S. Graham (Eds.),
Peer harassment in school: The plight of the vulnerable and
victimized (pp. 310–331). New York: Guilford. ISBN:
Swearer, S. M., & Doll, B. (2001). Bullying in schools: An
ecological framework. In R. A. Geffner, M. Loring, & C.
Young (Eds.), Bullying behavior: Current issues, research
and interventions (pp. 7–23). Binghamton, NY: Haworth
Press. ISBN: 078901436X.
Bullying Online—www.bullying.co.uk
UK website with especially useful information on what
parents can do. Although some of the information is
geared toward British schools, the general approach
recommended is equally useful for American users.
A list of states that have anti-bullying law, plus links to
other websites.
Committee for Children—www.cfchildren.org/issues/bully/
Provides information on bullying and bullying prevention.
From the Nemours Foundation, has much information on
bullying, including “Bullying and Your Child.”
NASP Resource Library—
From the National Association of School Psychologists,
offers several links with suggestions for parents and
teachers concerning bullying.
Kari A. Sassu, MSEd, and Mahri J. Elinoff, MA, are doctoral
candidates in school psychology at the University of
Connecticut. Melissa A. Bray, PhD, NCSP, is Associate Professor
in School Psychology at the University of Connecticut, a licensed
psychologist, and a licensed speech-language pathologist in
Connecticut. Thomas J. Kehle, PhD, is Professor and Director of
the School Psychology program at the University of Connecticut
and licensed as a psychologist in Connecticut, Utah, and Ohio.
© 2004, National Association of School Psychologists, 4340
East West Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814—(301)
657-0270. Reprinted from Helping Children at Home and
School II: Handouts for Families and Educators (NASP 2004).

             Anger Management Strategies

2.      Count to 10, 20 30…. or as far up as you have to…
3.      Take deep breaths
4.      Get some distance, walk away, go to a quiet place, you room etc.
5.      Talk to yourself-“It’s ok, calm down, take it easy, take it slow,   
        relax, it will be ok etc.

 Once you have calmed down, you can THINK more clearly about what you can do 
about the problem.  Maybe you want to talk to someone about it, maybe you 
want to tell the person who made you mad in a calm, “I statement way” how you 
feel, maybe you want to have some distance to think some more or maybe you 
want to let it go and move on. 
It is important to identify personal triggers, or hot buttons, and how 
certain events could make one person extremely angry and not affect another 
at all.  It is very helpful to have children look at how intensely they 
respond on an “angry thermometer” when someone calls them a name, when 
someone pushes them, or any of their other triggers. 
Practice is vital!  Anger management is a skill that can be developed.  
Understanding, planning, and practice  strengthen this skill.

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