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Tanze, als sähe dir niemand zu.
Singe, als könne dich niemand hören.
Liebe, als seist du nie verletzt worden.
Lebe, als sei Himmel auf Erden.
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Excerpts From Mark Twain's "The Awful German Language" -- HILARIOUS!
Some German words are so long that they have a perspective. Observe
these examples:
Freundschaftsbezeigungen.
Dilettantenaufdringlichkeiten.
Stadtverordnetenversammlungen.
These things are not words, they are alphabetical processions.
Generalstaatsverordnetenversammlungen.
Alterthumswissenschaften.
Kinderbewahrungsanstalten.
Unabhaengigkeitserklaerungen.
Wiedererstellungbestrebungen.
Waffenstillstandsunterhandlungen.
Of course when one of these grand mountain ranges goes stretching across
the printed page, it adorns and ennobles that literary landscape but at
the same time it is a great distress to the new student, for it blocks up
his way; ... "
- Appendix D of A Tramp Abroad, "That Awful German Language"
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My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to
learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in
thirty days, and German in thirty years. It seems manifest, then, that the
latter tongue ought to be trimmed down and repaired. If it is to remain as
it is, it ought to be gently and reverently set aside among the dead
languages, for only the dead have time to learn it.
- Appendix D of A Tramp Abroad, "That Awful German Language"
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Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are
going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with
his verb in his mouth.
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
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...mastery of the art and spirit of the Germanic language enables a man to
travel all day in one sentence without changing cars.
- Christian Science
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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye
of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the
terrible German script.
- photo autographed to Ed. Potzl, 2/1898; Notebook, 1898
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A dream...I was trying to explain to St. Peter, and was doing it in the
German tongue, because I didn't want to be too explicit.
- Mark Twain's speeches, 1923
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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall,
slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from
vinegar by the label.
- A Tramp Abroad
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A dog is "der Hund"; a woman is "die Frau"; a horse is "das Pferd"; now you
put that dog in the genitive case, and is he the same dog he was before? No,
sir; he is "des Hundes"; put him in the dative case and what is he? Why, he
is "dem Hund." Now you snatch him into the accusative case and how is it
with him? Why, he is "den Hunden." But suppose he happens to be twins and
you have to pluralize him- what then? Why, they'll swat that twin dog around
through the 4 cases until he'll think he's an entire international dog-show
all in is own person. I don't like dogs, but I wouldn't treat a dog like
that- I wouldn't even treat a borrowed dog that way. Well, it's just the
same with a cat. They start her in at the nominative singular in good health
and fair to look upon, and they sweat her through all the 4 cases and the 16
the's and when she limps out through the accusative plural you wouldn't
recognize her for the same being. Yes, sir, once the German language gets
hold of a cat, it's goodbye cat. That's about the amount of it.
- Mark Twain's Notebook
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In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in
the time inventing the German language.
- Notebook #14, 11/1877 - 7/1878
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Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a
chance to learn German.
- Notebook #14, 11/1877 - 7/1878
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I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in
Berlin except the German language.
- Mark Twain's Notebook
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...the circumstances and the atmosphere always have so much to do in
directing a conversation, especially a German conversation, which is only a
kind of an insurrection, anyway.
- The American Claimant, Etc., "Meisterschaft: In Three Acts"
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It's awful undermining to the intellect, German is; you want to take it in
small doses, or first you know your brains all run together, and you feel
them flapping around in your head same as so much drawn butter.
- A Tramp Abroad
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I would not rob you of your food or your clothes or your umbrella, but if I
caught your German out I would take it. But I don't study any more,- I have
given it up.
- A Letter to Mr. Bayard Taylor, (reprinted in American Literature, Markh,
1936)
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By reading keep in a state of excited igorance, like a blind man in a house
afire; flounder around, immensely but unintelligently interested; don't know
how I got in and can't find the way out, but I'm having a booming time all
to myself.
Don't know what a Schelgesetzentwurf is, but I keep as excited over it and
as worried about it as if it were my own child. I simply live on the Sch.;
it is my daily bread. I wouldn't have the question settled for anything in
the world.
- Mark Twain, a Biography
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I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk
it best through an interpreter.
- A Tramp Abroad
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It is not like studying German, where you mull along, in a groping,
uncertain way, for thirty years; and at last, just as you think you've got
it, they spring the subjunctive on you, and there you are. No- and I see now
plainly enough, that the great pity about the German language is, that you
can't fall off it and hurt yourself. There is nothing like that feature to
make you attend strictly to business.
- Taming the Bicycle
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The Germans have an inhuman way of cutting up their verbs. Now a verb has a
hard time enough of it in this world when it's all together. It's downright
inhuman to split it up. But that's just what those Germans do. They take
part of a verb and put it down here, like a stake, and they take the other
part of it and put it away over yonder like another stake, and between these
two limits they just shovel in German.
- Mark Twain's Speeches, "Disappearance of Literature"
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I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write
it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any
acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the
Deity. I'm not in any hurry.
- Concordia speech, 11/2/1897
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[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery; it reads like butter-
milk gurgling from a jug.
- Answers to Correspondence
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How charmed I am when I overhear a German word which I understand!
- Letter to W. D. Howells, 5/4/1878
Wir behalten von unseren Studien am Ende doch nur das, was wir praktisch
anwenden.
In the end, we really only retain from our studies that which we apply in a
practical way.
- J.W. Goethe (1749-1832)
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Wie der Acker, so die Ruben,
wie der Vater, so die Buben.
Like field, like beet,
like father, like son.
- Saying/Sprichwort
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Möge die Macht mit dir sein.
May the Force be with you.
- aus dem Film Krieg der Sterne (Star Wars)
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Erziehung ist die billigste Verteidigung der Nationen.
Education is the cheapest defence of nations.
- Edmund Burke (1729-1797)
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Manche Leute schlafen nur deshalb so gut, weil sie so langweilige Träume
haben.
The only reason some people sleep so well is because they have such boring
dreams.
- Germaine de Stael (Anna Louise Germaine Necker, 1766-1817)
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Jetzt weiß ich, wo es langgeht.
Now I know what's what.
- in ad for Deutsche Bank's maxblue
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Lob macht gute Menschen besser und schlechte schlechter.
Praise makes good people better and bad people worse.
- Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)
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Jede Nation ist im Ausland hauptsächlich durch ihre Untugenden bekannt.
Each nation is known abroad primarily by its bad habits.
- Joseph Conrad
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Soll ich meines Bruders Hüter sein?
Am I my brother's keeper?
- 1 Moses/Genesis 1 (Bibel/Bible)
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Wer glücklich ist, fühlt; wer unglücklich ist, denkt.
He who is happy, feels; he who is unhappy, thinks.
- Joachim Fernau (1909-1988), Rosen für Apoll
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Phantasie ist die Fähigkeit, in Bildern zu denken.
Imagination is the ability to think in images.
- Ernst Hohenemser
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Ich weiß sehr wohl, wie widersprüchlich man sein muss, um wirklich
konsequent zu sein.
I know very well how contradictory one must be in order to be truly
consistent.
- Pier Paolo Pasolino (1922-1975)
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Heiligkeit und Genie entziehen sich der Definition.
Holiness and genius defy any definition.
- Heinrich Böll, German author (1917-1985)
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Als die letzte Klappe gefallen ist, habe ich mich sofort unter die Dusche
gestellt, und die Lola ist mit der roten Farbe quasi aus mir rausgeflossen.
When the last scene was filmed I immediately took a shower, and Lola flowed
out of me, so to say, with the red dye.
- Franka Potente about her role in Run Lola Run. Quoted in Franka Potente
by K. Rathje and R. Krämer
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Willkommen in der Wüste der Wirklichkeit.
Welcome to the desert of reality.
- aus dem Film Matrix
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Er machte gute Miene zum Bösen Spiel.
He just had to grin and bear it.
(He made the best out of a bad situation.)
- German Expression/Deutscher Ausdruck (contributed by K. McAvoy)
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Wir müssen uns wirklich ins Zeug legen.
We've got to get crackin'/do our best.
- German Expression/Deutscher Ausdruck (contributed by K. McAvoy)
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Die Anatomie ist das Schicksal.
Anatomy is destiny.
- Sigmund Freud: Gesammelte Schriften
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Schauspielen hat ganz viel mit Mut zu tun. Man muss immer wieder über
Mäuerchen klettern.
Acting has a lot to do with courage. You have to keep jumping over little
walls.
- Franka Potente, in Franka Potente by K. Rathje and R. Krämer
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Die Weltgeschichte ist auch die Summe dessen, was vermeidbar gewesen wäre.
The history of the world is also the sum of what might have been avoided.
- Konrad Adenauer (1876-1967), West Germany's first chancellor
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Fremd ist der Fremde nur in der Fremde.
A foreigner's only a foreigner in a foreign land.
- Karl Valentin (Karl Fey, 1882-1948), German humorist
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Falls ich in fünf Minuten nicht zurück sein sollte, warten Sie einfach ein
bisschen länger.
In case I'm not back in five minutes, just wait a little longer.
- Filmzitate/Movie Quotes: Ace Ventura
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Quäl dich nicht, mein Liebling, überlass das mir.
Don't torture yourself, darling. Leave that to me.
- Filmzitate/Movie Quotes: Addams Family
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Nicht die Kinder bloß speist man
Mit Märchen ab.
It's not just children who are
fed fairy tales.
- Gotthold Ephraim Lessing in Nathan der Weise
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Du kamst, du gingst mit leiser Spur,
Ein flücht'ger Gast im Erdenland;
Woher? wohin? Wir wissen nur:
Aus Gottes Hand in Gottes Hand.“
You came; you went with faint steps,
A fleeting guest on earth;
From where? To where? We only know:
Out of God's hand into God's hand.
- Ludwig Uhland: „Auf den Tod eines Kindes“
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Weh' dem Lande, wo man nicht mehr singet.
Woe to the land where they sing no more.
- Johann Gottfried Seume: „Die Gesänge“
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Mein Leben, ein Leben ist es kaum,
Ich gehe dahin als wie im Traum.
My life, a life it may but seem,
I pass through as in a dream.
- Theodor Fontane: „Mein Leben“
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Die Anatomie ist das Schicksal.
Anatomy is destiny.
- Sigmund Freud: „Gesammelte Schriften“
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Ein glückliches Paar: Er tut, was sie will -- und sie tut, was sie will.
A happy couple: He does what she wants -- and she does what she wants.
- Peter Altenberg: „Fechsung“
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Es ist zu voll von Milch der Menschenliebe...
It is too full o' th' milk of human kindness...
- Wm. Shakespeare: Macbeth
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Gerade weil wir alle im gleichen Boot sitzen, sollten wir heilfroh darüber
sein, dass nicht alle auf unserer Seite stehen.
Precisely because we're all sitting in the same boat, we should be very glad
that not everyone is standing on our side.
- Ernst Ferstl (1955- ), Austrian teacher and aphorist
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Zehn Ziegen zogen zehn Zentner Zucker zum Zoo.
Ten goats pulled ten pounds of sugar to the zoo.
- deutscher Zungenbrecher/German tongue twister
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Na du. Wie siehst du denn aus... Bist gerannt? Keine Sorge, ist alles in
Ordnung.
Hey, you. Just look at you... Been running? Don't worry, everything's okay.
- Manni zu Lola am Ende von Lola rennt
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In der Politik ist es wie in einem Konzert: ungeübte Ohren halten schon das
Stimmen der Instrumente für Musik.
In politics it is like at a concert: untrained ears take the tuning of the
instruments for music.
- Amintore Fanfani (1908- ), Italian politician
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Lola braucht für Manni hunderttausend Mark...
Tom braucht für Lola drei Millionen.
Lola needs a hundred thousand marks for Manni...
Tom needs three million for Lola.
- Tom Tykwer, director of Lola rennt
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Je weniger die Leute davon wissen, wie Würste und Gesetze gemacht werden,
desto besser schlafen sie.
The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better
they'll sleep.
- Otto von Bismarck (1815-1898)
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Das Volk der Dichter und Denker.
The nation of poets and thinkers. (Germany)
- Karl Musäus
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Die Frau ist bestenfalls ein Widerspruch.
Woman's at best a contradiction still.
- Alexander Pope
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Geld spricht alle Sprachen.
Money speaks all languages.
- Sprichwort/Proverb
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Nichts beklagen, nichts erklären.
Never complain and never explain.
- Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881), British prime minister
(quoted in The Life of Gladstone by John Morley)
Note: Thanks to Paulo César Mendes of Brazil for providing the original
English and the correct attribution for this quotation.
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Wer sich selbst treu bleiben will,
kann nicht immer anderen treu bleiben.
He who wants to remain true to himself
can't always remain true to others.
- Christian Morgenstern (1871-1914)
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Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens.
Against stupidity even the gods struggle in vain.
- Friedrich Schiller (1759-1805) in Jungfrau von Orleans (1779)
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Raffiniert ist der Herrgott, aber boshaft ist er nicht.
God is subtle but he is not malicious.
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
Mehr dazu: This remark, made by Einstein at Princeton in 1921, is carved
above a fireplace in Fine Hall at the university.
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Es ist Arznei, nicht Gift, was ich dir reiche.
It is medicine, not poison, that I hand you.
- Gotthold Ephraim Lessing (1729-1781) in Nathan der Weise
Mehr dazu: Similar to Shakespeare's "Come cordial, not poison" ("Komm
Medizin, nicht Gift") - "Romeo and Juliet"
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Wer nicht liebt Wein, Weiber und Gesang,
Der bleibt ein Narr sein Lebelang.
Who doesn't love wine, women, and song
remains a fool his whole life long.
- Martin Luther (1483-1546), but see below
Mehr dazu: These words seem to have first appeared in the Wandsbecker Boten
newspaper in 1775, concluding with the line: "Sagt Doktor Martin Luther."
Since Luther died over 200 years earlier, this legendary quotation probably
never came from his pen. Bartlett's credits these lines to Johann Heinrich
Voss (1751-1826).
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Die Idee ist das Absolute, und alles Wirkliche ist nur Realisierung der Idee.
The idea is the absolute, and all that is real is but the realization of the
idea.
- Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (1770-1831)
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Wo viel Licht ist,
ist starker Schatten.
Where there's much light,
there's strong shadow.
- J.W. Goethe (1749-1832) in Götz von Berlichingen (1773)
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Ein guter Gesang wischt den Staub vom Herzen.
A good song wipes the dust from the heart.
- Christoph Lehmann (1570-1638)
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Ungeduld ist Angst.
Impatience is fear.
- Stefan Zweig (1881-1942)
Mehr dazu: Austrian author and playwright. A friend of and influenced by
Sigmund Freud. Became a British subject in 1938. Committed suicide in South
America.
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Was sich überhaupt sagen lässt, lässt sich klar sagen; und wovon man nicht
reden kann, darüber muss man schweigen.
What can be said at all can be said clearly; and about that of which one
cannot speak, one must stay silent.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951)
Mehr dazu: From the preface of Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus (1922). The
mathematician and philosopher Wittgenstein was born in Austria, but became a
British subject in 1938.
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Kunst gibt nicht das Sichtbare wieder, sondern macht sichtbar.
Art does not reproduce the visible; rather it makes things visible.
- Paul Klee (1879-1940), Swiss-born artist
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Das Leben ist eine Fremdsprache. Alle Menschen sprechen es falsch aus.
Life is a foreign language. All men mispronounce it.
- Christopher Morley (1890-1957), American writer and editor of
Bartlett's Familiar Quotations (1937-1948).
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Man lobt in Tode manchen Mann,
der Lob im Leben nie gewann.
Many a man is praised in death,
who never won praise in life.
- Freidank (died 1233), "Bescheidenheit 25, Vom Lobe"
Mehr dazu: "Freidank" (Freidenker = free thinker) is the name given to the
unknown author of the Germanic didactic poem "Bescheidenheit" ("Humility").
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