Boy, am I steamed! And I was so happy this morning...
My owner had just moved all the furniture around in the living room. I love it when she moves the furniture because it make the whole place seem new and different! I love exploring! I was even wearing my explorer's helmet and backpack. I came prepared with my flashlight, too, ready to search out the far dark corners of the closet under the stairs (she had left the door open again).
I was busily leaping from chair to window sill ( and I didn't even fall off once, thank you very much), and streaking like a torpedo from one corner of the room to another, back and forth, back and forth when I noticed my owner sitting on the love seat. She picked up a new book, one that I hadn't yet seen. I interrupted my exploring the underside of her gigunda bowl-shaped chair, which she calls a "papasan", to ask her what her new book was about. I don't encourage her to read because it takes time and attention away from yours truly, but I do like to support her in her habits.
She explained that the new book was about Scotland. She added that it was a work of "hysterical friction"... Now that my mind wanders back a bit, I'm thinking that the term "historical fiction" may actually be what she said... anyhoo.
I then asked her "Why are you interested in historical fiction? What is it about Scotland and its people that appeals to you?" (Sometimes I can sound so intelligent and articulate, eh?)
She replied, "I'm going to Scotland next month."
My mouth fell open a teensy bit and some drool ran down my chin, like it does when I've napped for too long on my face.
I was SO excited! We were going to SCOTLAND! In my mind, I began packing immediately. I even threw in my new raincoat and my exploring gear. I was ready to use my newest ebay aquisition: my deep-water diving watch. I couldn't wait to dive into the deep waters of Loch Ness. As I understand it, Loch Ness is a lake which is extremely deep right in the middle. It is rumored that within this deep place resides a mysterious water horse. I was dreaming of meeting this water horse, becoming friends with her, and inviting her to come back here to enjoy some milk and homemade cookies... and then I remembered: I don't enjoy water...
My teeny cat-brain was hauled back into reality when my owner went on to say:
"You're not going."
I'm not GOING?... I'm NOT going... I'M NOT GOING??????? I think some curse words escaped from my throat. Thankfully, she was reading again and ignoring my murmuring.
I was SO angry. I had to vent. NOW. I wanted to scratch something... but that wasn't satisfying enough. I wanted to knock ALL of the Scotland books off the bottom shelf of the book case, one at a time, just to make my point... instead, I found the cell phone, knocked it off the table, and then I ran into the bathroom and climbed into the tub to be alone with my thoughts.
Here I am, my friends, making my frustration and disappointment public by sharing it with you. I feel so left out. WHY? Why can't I go to Scotland? I never get to go anywhere. I've never been anywhere except Dutchess County... WHY, WHY, WHY? WHERE IS THE JUSTICE? WHERE IS SCOTLAND? DOES SCOTLAND HATE CATS? DOES SHE THINK I WILL NOT BEHAVE? WHO IS GOING TO CARE FOR ME WHEN SHE IS GONE? WHEN WILL I GET TO USE MY DEEP WATER DIVING WATCH? WHO WILL FEED ME? AND WHO IS GOING TO EXPLAIN TO THE WATER HORSE THAT WE WILL, IN FACT, NOT BE HAVING MILK AND COOKIES??????
Sigh...That's all for now.
Your Feline Explorer Enthusiast,
Killian "Spazzy" Mc Fuzz (even my name sounds Scottish!)