Good social skills are critical to success in life. The extent to which
children possess these skills can influence their academic performance,
behavior, social and family relationships, and even school safety. Social
skills encompass a range of behaviors, such as waiting your turn, asking to
use something, joining a group, managing anger or frustration, respecting
other people, not interrupting, asking for help, and understanding the
social cues of other children.
Most children pick up positive skills through their everyday interactions
with adults and peers. However because of increased negative influences in
life today, such as media violence and family pressures, it is important
that teachers and parents reinforce this casual learning with direct and
indirect instruction. This is particularly true given the critical role that
social skills play in maintaining a positive school environment and reducing
school violence. Aggressive or disruptive behavior often occurs because
children do not know how to express themselves or respond to classmates
appropriately.
Effective social skills programs involve parents and teachers working
together. They can be implemented at a school-wide, classroom, and
individual level and always emphasize teaching a desired skill, as opposed
to punishing negative behaviors. Adults can reinforce positive socials
skills a number of ways.
Praise children when they behave correctly. It may be necessary for children
who have particular difficulty to intentionally “catch” them doing the right
thing or create situations in which they can make a good choice.
Offer alternatives to inappropriate behavior. Explain why the child’s first
choice is incorrect and have them practice the appropriate skills before
going on with their activity.
Model good social skills. Children learn through observation. Adults can
provide important examples of positive behaviors by how they interact with
each other and, importantly, with the children themselves.
Create a culture that fosters good social skills. School and home
environments can affect a child’s ability to learn and perform good social
skills. For instance, a student may be unruly in the morning because the
teacher needs to establish more specific routines for coming into class and
getting settled. Schools can also provide visual reminders, such posters and
key phrases, throughout the building.
Communicate between home and school. Schools should include parents and
other caregivers in social skills training and activities so that they can
reinforce skills taught at school. They should also work together to develop
individualized strategies for a child who has a specific issue or need.
Focus on all age groups. Adults sometimes overlook inappropriate behavior in
young children because they believe that they will “grow out of it.” On the
contrary, the earlier children start to learn good socials, the fewer
problems they will have as they get older.
Avoid a “one size fits all” approach. Most children will need a combination
of strategies that are matched to their particular needs and backgrounds.
For example, students who speak English as a Second Language might need
intensive social skill instruction to promote acculturation and peer
acceptance. Children with disabilities might need adaptive curriculum and
learning strategies.
Schools across the country are discovering that integrating socials skills
into the curriculum has a significant impact on the quality of the school
experience. We see improved behavior in the classroom, reduced conflicts at
recess and lunch, and an increase in students’ ability to resolve problems
on their own. This translates into fewer referrals for discipline problems
and a better learning environment for all students.
